Ming-Chuan Pan Saying 'Yes' or 'No'

YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hek3mq9B2uM

Traditional Chinese

一般那跟人家相處的話，我們在臺灣，第一個要給人家面子問題，Face。你如果要拒絕人家的話，不給人家正確答案的話，也就是要考慮到，第一個要委婉的拒絕。或可能的話，就是如果大眾場合的話，給人家Face問題。你很多大眾場合拒絕人家的話，就給人家下不了臺，面子會受不了。所以說，我們在臺灣呢很重面子，Face。你要拒絕人家也是非常要委婉的說法或語氣。甚至於說給他說，我事後，一般來講，就事後再給人家答案的話，那可能一般拒絕的成分就增加了。一般直接拒絕的，一般除非是說他職位很高，或什麼東西的話，他可能會直接給你拒絕。否則的話，一般在企業界裏面，即使在企業界裏面拒絕，他也不會說。他因為企業要做生意。他們為了他公司的形象，他一般不會直接拒絕。他會透過一些，一些理由來說，不方便哪，或是說，商業機密哪，或是說，怎樣啊，或是說，我們公司在營運哪，有一些事情太忙哪。沒辦法做這種事情哪，沒辦法接受訪問哪，接受一些條件哪，這些狀況。或是說，你要拒絕的話，就是談，跟他談生意不接受的話，你可以找個理由說：哎，因為公司主管、公司的政策拒絕，沒有辦法接受你的條件。因為你如果直接拒絕，好像是你直接得罪人家。你可以用其他的理由。以後的話，因為你做生意，或做，你又跟他相處關係，見面就不會太那個，太尷尬。因為我們這個臺灣的話，就比較重視那個面子的問題，情的問題。不要直接拒絕人家。你直接拒絕人家，那麼覺得，好像沒有面子問題。他就會說，啊，不受到尊敬。所以說要拒絕，第一個要委婉的，委婉的口氣，或者說交際手腕很重要。所以會講話呢，做起生意來，或跟人家相處都比較好。而是反過來，比較直接的豪爽的說Yes和No的人，他就比較困難了。人際關係有時候就比較差一點。好，謝謝！

Simplified Chinese

一般那跟人家相处的话，我们在台湾，第一个要给人家面子问题，FACE。你如果要拒绝人家的话，不给人家正确答案的话，也就是要考虑到，第一个要委婉的拒绝。或可能的话，就是如果大众场合的话，给人家FACE问题。你很多大众场合拒绝人家的话，就给人家下不了台，面子会受不了。所以说，我们在台湾呢很重面子，FACE。你要拒绝人家也是非常要委婉的说法或语气。甚至于说给他说，我事后，一般来讲，就事后再给人家答案的话，那可能一般拒绝的成分就增加了。一般直接拒绝的，一般除非是说他职位很高，或什么东西的话，他可能会直接给你拒绝。否则的话，一般在企业界里面，即使在企业界里面拒绝，他也不会说。他因为企业要做生意。他们为了他公司的形象，他一般不会直接拒绝。他会透过一些，一些理由来说，不方便哪，或是说，商业机密哪，或是说，怎样啊，或是说，我们公司在营运哪，有一些事情太忙哪。没办法做这种事情哪，没办法接受访问哪，接受一些条件哪，这些状况。或是说，你要拒绝的话，就是谈，跟他谈生意不接受的话，你可以找个理由说：哎，因为公司主管、公司的政策拒绝，没有办法接受你的条件。因为你如果直接拒绝，好像是你直接得罪人家。你可以用其他的理由。以后的话，因为你做生意，或做，你又跟他相处关系，见面就不会太那个，太尴尬。因为我们这个台湾的话，就比较重视那个面子的问题，情的问题。不要直接拒绝人家。你直接拒绝人家，那么觉得，好像没有面子问题。他就会说，啊，不受到尊敬。所以说要拒绝，第一个要委婉的，委婉的口气，或者说交际手腕很重要。所以会讲话呢，做起生意来，或跟人家相处都比较好。而是反过来，比较直接的豪爽的说YES和NO的人，他就比较困难了。人际关系有时候就比较差一点。好，谢谢！

Pinyin

Yībān nà gēn rénjiā xiāngchǔ de huà，wǒmen zài táiwān，dìyīgè yào gěi rénjiā miànzi wèntí，FACE。Nǐ rúguǒ yào jùjué rénjiā de huà，bù gěi rénjiā zhèngquè dáàn de huà，yějiùshì yào kǎolǜdào，dìyīgè yào wěiwǎn de jùjué。Huò kěnéng de huà，jiùshì rúguǒ dàzhòng chǎnghé de huà，gěi rénjiā FACE wèntí。Nǐ hěnduō dàzhòng chǎnghé jùjué rénjiā de huà，jiù gěi rénjiā xiàbùliǎotái，miànzi huì shòubùliǎo。Suǒyǐshuō，wǒmen zài táiwān ne hěn zhòng miànzi，FACE。Nǐ yào jùjué rénjiā yěshì fēicháng yào wěiwǎn de shuōfǎ huò yǔqì。Shènzhìyú shuō gěi tā shuō，wǒ shì hòu，yībān láijiǎng，jiùshì hòu zài gěi rénjiā dáàn de huà，nà kěnéng yībān jùjué de chéngfèn jiù zēngjiā le。 Yībān zhíjiē jùjué de，yībān chúfēi shì shuō tā zhíwèi hěngāo，huò shénme dōngxī de huà，tā kěnéng huì zhíjiē gěi nǐ jùjué。Fǒuzé de huà，yībān zài qǐyèjiè lǐmiàn，jíshǐ zài qǐyèjiè lǐmiàn jùjué，tā yě búhuì shuō。Tā yīnwéi qǐyè yào zuòshēngyì。Tāmen wèile tā gōngsī de xíngxiàng，tā yībān búhuì zhíjiē jùjué。Tā huì tòuguò yīxiē，yīxiē lǐyóu láishuō，bùfāngbiàn nǎ，huòshìshuō，shāngyè jīmì nà，huòshìshuō，zěnyàng ah，huòshìshuō，wǒmen gōngsī zài yíngyùn nà，yǒu yīxiē shìqíng tàimáng nà。Méibànfǎ zuò zhèzhǒng shìqíng nà，méibànfǎ jiēshòu fǎngwèn nà，jiēshòu yīxiē tiáojiàn nà，zhèxiē zhuàngkuàng。Huòshìshuō，nǐ yào jùjué de huà，jiùshì tán，gēn tā tánshēngyì bùjiēshòu de huà，nǐ kěyǐ zhǎogè lǐyóu shuō：āi，yīnwéi gōngsī zhǔguǎn、gōngsī de zhèngcè jùjué，méiyǒu bànfǎ jiēshòu nǐde tiáojiàn。 Yīnwéi nǐ rúguǒ zhíjiē jùjué，hǎoxiàng shì nǐ zhíjiē dézuì rénjiā。Nǐ kěyǐ yòng qítā de lǐyóu。Yǐhòu de huà，yīnwéi nǐ zuòshēngyì，huò zuò，nǐ yòu gēn tā xiāngchǔ guānxì，jiànmiàn jiù búhuì tài nàgè，tài gāngà。Yīnwéi wǒmen zhègè táiwān de huà，jiù bǐjiào zhòngshì nàgè miànzi de wèntí，qíngde wèntí。Búyào zhíjiē jùjué rénjiā。Nǐ zhíjiē jùjué rénjiā，nàme juédé，hǎoxiàng méiyǒu miànzi wèntí。tā jiùhuìshuō，ah，bú shòudào zūnjìng。Suǒyǐ shuō yào jùjué，dìyīgè yào wěiwǎn de，wěiwǎn de kǒuqì，huòzhěshuō jiāojì shǒuwàn hěn zhòngyào。Suǒyǐ huìjiǎnghuà ne，zuò qǐ shēngyì lái，huò gēn rénjiā xiāngchǔ dōu bǐjiào hǎo。érshì fǎnguòlái，bǐjiào zhíjiē de háoshuǎng de shuō YES hé NO de rén，tā jiù bǐjiào kùnnán le。Rénjì guānxì yǒushíhòu jiù bǐjiào chāyīdiǎn。Hǎo，xièxiè！

English

Generally, in dealing with people, the first thing for us in Taiwan is the problem of giving people face, “face.” If you’re going to turn someone down, if you’re not going to give them the answer they want, you have to consider, the first thing is you have to turn them down indirectly. Or, if it’s possible, if you’re in a public setting, you have to consider the “face” problem. If you say no to someone in a public setting, you put them in an embarrassing position, one in which they lose face. So, in Taiwan we really stress face, “face.” If you are going to turn someone down, you have to use a very indirect phrasing or intonation. You even have to tell them, “I’ll [tell you] later.” Generally, if someone wants to tell you later, there’s a greater likelihood that they’re going to tell you no. Usually, those who tell you no directly, their usually either people in a very high position, or something. They’ll probably tell you no directly. Whereas, in the business world, even if it’s a no pertaining to business, they won’t say so. They’re doing business on behalf of their company. To preserve their company’s image, they won’t say no directly. They’ll offer some, offer some reasons: “It’s not convenient.” Or, “It’s a company secret.” Or, what, or, “Our company’s in the middle of some stuff, so we’re too busy [to handle some things].” “We can’t do this kind of thing…no way [to arrange] a meeting….no way we can accept these terms….” These kinds of things. Or, if you have to say no, that is, talk, talk to them about not doing some business, you can find an excuse to sigh and say: “I can’t accept your terms because of our company’s executives, company policy.” Because if you turn someone down directly, it’s like you’re offering a direct insult. You can find another reason. Because if, in the future, you’re doing business, or doing, the next time you deal with them, it won’t be too, you know, too awkward. Because Taiwan, it places more stress on face issues, feelings issues. Don’t turn someone down directly. When you say no directly, it feels like, like you’re not giving any face. They’ll say, uh, “I not being shown any respect.” So, when you say no, the first thing is to be indirect, to speak indirectly; having some finesse when you communicate is very important. So, knowing how to talk helps you do business, and in getting along with people. If you turn it around, people who give a direct, straightforward yes or no have a harder time. Their interpersonal relationships aren’t so good. OK. Thanks.

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Authors: LouisPM, h.brinsko, orkelm.