Lin He Avoid Offending Others

YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcLbAf1fvbA

Traditional Chinese

啊避免使別人尷尬這個問題是很複雜的，所以我只談兩個比較簡單的內容。第一個呢，就是我覺得在跟女性談話的時候呢，就是要避免問一些問題，或者避免說一些話會讓她覺得自己很老。比如說，啊，看到年輕女性呢，比較年輕的女性，那就不要問她是不是有孩子了，或者是說孩子多大了。因為現在中國有很多女性呢，都是到年齡比較大才會要孩子，然後如果你問她有沒有孩子，那單身，噢，不是單身，就是說已、已婚但是還沒有有孩子的女性就會覺得，噢，是不是我看起來很老啊？然後你就會問我這樣的問題。啊，我覺得這是一個方面。然後還有呢像，女、女性普遍的都會對年齡比較在意，所以跟女性專業人士談話的時候，可能要比較避免說一些話或者是問一些問題，讓她覺得自己會比較老的這種感覺。然後第二個方面呢，就是我覺得啊，對於官員或者是任何的專、專業人士呢，他們都會…就是在中國有一個習俗就是說地位比較重要。所以大家就是對於所有的正職或者是副職，比如說我們就是說，啊，總經理或者是副總經理，我們都會統一就是稱他就是叫經理，就是全部按正職的這個方式來稱謂。所以如果你問一個副職的官員: 那你、你是正的還是副的？然後或者問他你真正的那個頭、你的那個老闆是誰的話，那他們會覺得比較尷尬,因為在中國那普遍就會把這種副職就看作是正的，雖然他不是正職。

Simplified Chinese

啊避免使别人尴尬这个问题是很复杂的，所以我只谈两个比较简单的内容。第一个呢，就是我觉得在跟女性谈话的时候呢，就是要避免问一些问题，或者避免说一些话会让她觉得自己很老。比如说，啊，看到年轻女性呢，比较年轻的女性，那就不要问她是不是有孩子了，或者是说孩子多大了。因为现在中国有很多女性呢，都是到年龄比较大才会要孩子，然后如果你问她有没有孩子，那单身，噢，不是单身，就是说已、已婚但是还没有有孩子的女性就会觉得，噢，是不是我看起来很老啊？然后你就会问我这样的问题。啊，我觉得这是一个方面。然后还有呢像，女、女性普遍的都会对年龄比较在意，所以跟女性专业人士谈话的时候，可能要比较避免说一些话或者是问一些问题，让她觉得自己会比较老的这种感觉。然后第二个方面呢，就是我觉得啊，对于官员或者是任何的专、专业人士呢，他们都会…就是在中国有一个习俗就是说地位比较重要。所以大家就是对于所有的正职或者是副职，比如说我们就是说，啊，总经理或者是副总经理，我们都会统一就是称他就是叫经理，就是全部按正职的这个方式来称谓。所以如果你问一个副职的官员: 那你、你是正的还是副的？然后或者问他你真正的那个头、你的那个老板是谁的话，那他们会觉得比较尴尬,因为在中国那普遍就会把这种副职就看作是正的，虽然他不是正职。

Pinyin

Ah bìmiǎn shǐ biérén gāngà zhègè wèntí shì hěn fùzá de，suǒyǐ wǒ zhǐ tán liǎnggè bǐjiào jiǎndān de nèiróng。Dìyīgè ne，jiùshì wǒ juédé zài gēn nǚxìng tánhuà de shíhòu ne，jiùshì yào bìmiǎn wèn yìxiē wèntí，huòzhě bìmiǎn shuō yìxiē huà huì ràng tā juédé zìjǐ hěnlǎo。Bǐrúshuō，ah，kàndào niánqīng nǚxìng ne，bǐjiào niánqīng de nǚxìng，nà jiù búyào wèn tā shìbúshì yǒu háizi le，huòzhěshì shuō háizi duōdà le。Yīnwéi xiànzài zhōngguó yǒu hěnduō nǚxìng ne，dōushì dào niánlíng bǐjiào dà cáihuì yàoháizi，ránhòu rúguǒ nǐ wèn tā yǒuméiyǒu háizi，nà dānshēn，òu，búshì dānshēn，jiùshì shuō yǐ、yǐhūn dànshì hái méiyǒu yǒuháizi de nǚxìng jiùhuì juédé，òu，shìbúshì wǒ kànqǐlái hěnlǎo ah？ránhòu nǐ jiùhuì wèn wǒ zhèyàng de wèntí。Ah，wǒ juédé zhèshì yígè fāngmiàn。Ránhòu háiyǒu ne xiàng，nǚ、nǚxìng pǔbiàn de dōuhuì duì niánlíng bǐjiào zàiyì，suǒyǐ gēn nǚxìng zhuānyè rénshì tánhuà de shíhòu，kěnéng yào bǐjiào bìmiǎn shuō yìxiē huà, huòzhěshì wèn yìxiē wèntí，ràng tā juédé zìjǐ huì bǐjiào lǎode zhèzhǒng gǎnjué。Ránhòu dìèrgè fāngmiàn ne，jiùshì wǒ juédé ah，duìyú guānyuán huòzhěshì rènhé de zhuān、zhuānyè rénshì ne，tāmén dōuhuì jiùshì zài zhōngguó yǒu yígè xísú jiùshìshuō dìwèi bǐjiào zhòngyào。Suǒyǐ dàjiā jiùshì duìyú suǒyǒu de zhèngzhí huòzhěshì fùzhí，bǐrúshuō wǒmén jiùshìshuō，ah，zǒngjīnglǐ huòzhěshì fùzǒngjīnglǐ，wǒmén dōuhuì tǒngyī jiùshì chēng tā jiùshì jiào jīnglǐ，jiùshì quánbù àn zhèngzhí de zhègè fāngshì lái chēngwèi。Suǒyǐ rúguǒ nǐ wèn yígè fùzhí de guānyuán: nà nǐ、nǐshì zhèngde háishì fùde？ránhòu huòzhě wèn tā nǐ zhēnzhèng de nàgè tóu、nǐde nàgè lǎobǎn shì shéi de huà，nà tāmén huì juédé bǐjiào gāngà. Yīnwéi zài zhōngguó nà pǔbiàn jiùhuì bǎ zhèzhǒng fùzhí jiù kànzuò shì zhèngde，suīrán tā búshì zhèngzhí。

English

This question about avoiding offending people is complicated, so I’ll just talk about two relatively simple situations. The first is that I think when you’re talking to a woman, there are some subjects you have to avoid, and [you have to] avoid saying something that makes her feel old. For example, um, when you see a young woman, a youngish woman, you don’t ask her if she has children, or how old her children are. These days, there are a lot of women in China who don’t want to have children until they’re older. Now, if you ask her if she has children, if she’s single, um, [or] not single, that is a woman who is married but doesn’t yet have children will think, um, “Is [he asking this] because I look old?” That’s one aspect of it. Now there’s also… like… women are generally more concerned about age, so when you are talking to professional women, there are some things you should probably avoid saying or asking about, things that will make them feel older. Now, the second thing is I think that for executives or any kind of pro- professionals, they all…. In China, there’s a custom that position is pretty important. So everyone treats bosses and their deputies…. For example, we, say we’re talking about the president or the vice president. We’ll all uniformly address them as “Manager,” that is, we address all of them by their professional titles. So, if you ask a deputy: “Are you the boss or a deputy?” or ask him “Who is your actual chief, your boss?” they’ll be offended because in China we generally treat deputies as if they were the boss, even though they aren’t.

Return to General Topic: Avoid Offending Others

Return to Chinese Topic: Avoid Offending Others

Authors: LouisPM, h.brinsko, orkelm.